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Getting their children out of bed and out the door on school mornings is a common problem for many parents. For these parents, their days begin with discord, upset, and uproar, which all too often set the tone for their day. Parents fall into the trap of doing the same thing every morning and hoping that the results are different. Typically they begin with a pleasant attempt at rousing their child, followed by increasingly frustrated efforts to get the child moving, until both parent and child are worked up. There is lots of sound and fury which produces few positive results, repeated day after day. What parents are missing here is the root cause of the problem: they are taking the responsibility for the single most fundamental behavior their child must perform each day-rising from bed to meet the day. If you are having this difficulty, you need to remove yourself from the problem loop. The key is to shift the responsibility for getting out of bed from you to your children. This is typically a simple matter for younger children. I recommend that when kids begin kindergarten parents buy them an alarm clock, teach them to use it, and explain
their expectation that the children will be getting themselves up in the morning. The start of a child's school career is a rite of passage that makes it more likely that the child will adopt the new behavior. Plus, five-year-olds typically rise early without a problem, making it easy for the parent to establish a life-long habit when they are young. Some parents have enabled their children to be dependent upon them for awakening well into their teen-age years. The dynamics in this case are the same; the parents have assumed the responsibility (at this point, for years) of
Providing individual, relationship and group counseling from a spiritual perspective. Fully licensed in Indiana and Board Certified. Everything about life is about relationship, our relationship with our self, and with significant others. I approach my work with clients from this perspective. I work without regard to religious preference or spirituality, ethnic background, or sexual orientation (GLBT affirmative). I also have a special interest in men's spirituality and am forming groups at this time. Evening and weekend hours available. I look forward to working with you on your path! David Holan, MA, LMHC
At Lotus Group, we see potential. We see it in every client who comes through the door. We see it in every family that - purely out of love - does what it takes to make life better. We know how hard it is to heal. We also know that working to create healthy, growing relationships might just be the most rewarding act a person can ever do.Serving central Indiana including Indianapolis, Fishers, Carmel, Anderson, Greenwood, Noblesville, Plainfield, Westfield, Franklin, Brownsburg, Greenfield, Muncie, Zionsville, Danville and Avon
Providing counseling services from a Christian perspective in the Indianapolis area for more than 10 years.
This book uses an approach called cognitive behavioral therapy that has been proven to help with depression. The title is Mind Over Mood: Changing how you feel by Changing how you think by Greenburg and Padesky. The title is self explanatory. Reading about doing this is much easier than actually changing long standing thought patterns but if you can master the techniques, it can be life altering. Often clients use the book in the course of therapy as it is easier for someone else to notice our less than useful thought patterns.
Since I have a 13-year-old daughter, I am always reading books to understand her behavior and improve mine with her. I just finished Not Much Just Chillin’ the hidden lives of middle schoolers by Linda Perlstein. Linda spent a year shadowing a group of kids in a suburban Maryland middle school. Her book offers insight on how middle school kids think, what is important to them and some brain development information that can tell us parents why they act the way they do. It doesn’t offer much in terms of how to deal with them on a daily basis but does provide insight in the hopes that we may be able to empathize with them between arguments.
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